Processing Breast Cancer News

Processing Breast Cancer News
Learning that you have cancer affects you emotionally in ways that are hard to explain. After the biopsy in my left breast, everyone seemed optimistic that I didn't have cancer. I didn't prepare to hear any bad news, but I felt anxious to hear the news. Until I actually had to hear it, that is. I was in the middle of cleaning my bedroom on a January Friday morning. My phone rang, I saw it was from my oncologist's office, so I took a deep breath before I answered. My doctor sounded very happy, and my nerves instantly calmed. No one could give bad news in such a pleasant voice. He said that he had the results from my biopsy. Then he said, "I'm afraid that the margins weren't clear, and they found a little cancer." After that, I somehow managed to schedule an appointment for Monday to discuss the next steps before we hung up. I asked my toddler son to go play in a different room for a minute. My world just shifted into a dimension I didn't plan to be. How could he deliver such terrible news sounding so completely happy? Tears, unexpectedly, sprang to my eyes. I just mumbled to myself, "I have cancer." Looking back on this day, I am surprised I was so hard on myself. I couldn't stop crying no matter how much I tried. I'm the girl who is strong and can handle anything that comes my way. My first husband passed away when my daughter turned six months old. I had overcome many challenges. Cancer would just be another bump in the road, so why would I just cry? But I did, and it was happening out of my control. As I sat processing, I knew that I had a support team of family and friends waiting for the results. I realized that I probably couldn't deliver the news over the phone. Whoever I called would probably jump to the conclusion that I'm dying because I was cr
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