Women undergoing cancer treatment do not always feel the most confident or beautiful. Treatment, biopsy, lumpectomy, and mastectomy can drain you in ways least expected. On Valentine’s Day, love is in the air and that shouldn’t stop because your wife or girlfriend has breast cancer. This Valentine’s Day remind her of how special she is to you. Before anything else, she’s the woman that you fell in love with; treat her as such.
Marriage is a job, and working together is essential to keep everything running smooth. We all have to do our part to keep the spark alive. If you’re the woman undergoing treatment, I understand you might not be feeling your complete best, but whatever energy you can use goes a long way in romance. Here are suggestions to keep the romance alive even through the devastation of cancer.
Saying I love you is important and special. Try adding a twist to your words. Use sticky notes and post loving messages where she will find it. You could do a Post-it treasure hunt with nice messages, and at the end have a letter waiting.
Help with chores without being asked. Cancer depletes her energy, especially during chemotherapy and radiation. Having a clean house is one less thing to worry about. Not to mention that when seeing a man clean, the attraction factor rises. Keep the house clean. A clean house equals a happy spouse.
Frustrations and fear build up in a marriage that has a cancer diagnosis. Express your feelings nicely and never blame the partner for things out of their control. You’re in this together, so be there for each other.
Remind her how outrageously beautiful, gorgeous and attractive she is. She might have trouble believing you, but that means you just need to convince her even more every day.
Physical touch can do so much to the soul. Physical touch makes the connection so much more real. You know you aren’t alone when someone is by your side. Hold hands, kiss, give a back rub, and hold each other. You will notice how quickly healing will begin.
Out of the blue, give a random special surprise. It doesn’t need to be expensive. Just something that you know you will like. I like it when my husband brings me home a random snack that he knows I’ll appreciate. It doesn’t need to be expensive. The simplicity of gift-giving usually means the most.
Anger is difficult to control, but you must. Take a walk or time-out because nasty words can’t be erased. Try to think about all of the nice things that they do instead of the negative. Then calmly discuss the problem and try to find a compromise.
Compliment three times as much as you complain. When you’re complimenting someone, you have less time to complain.
If you never spent time working, you probably would be fired. If you never have time with your partner, the relationship will suffer. It needs your time, patience and love to survive.
When someone is mad, upset, sad or frustrated, go to them and embrace them. Try to distinguish the problem before it ignites out of control. Try to surprise them with a kiss instead of an argument.
Be trustworthy and loyal. Cancer can knock you down and you long for someone who will have your back through the very worst and best.
When you speak about your partner to others, only speak about positive things. Don’t gossip about your problems.
I hope you have an outstanding Valentine’s Day, but I hope you have a long, happy marriage!
Note: Breast Cancer News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Breast Cancer News, or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to breast cancer.