Offers of Help, Prayers Need to be Sincere and Specific

Offers of Help, Prayers Need to be Sincere and Specific
A Lump in the Road column “Let me know what I can do to help.” My husband heard that a lot. “Praying.” He heard that, too. And even though he was never one for church, I know he sucked in the prayers just in case they’d help me with my survival. In fact, he was ready and willing to take anything, but mostly he got a lot of what he called posturing. Hot air and well-wishing. It’s like when you invite your neighbors over for dinner already knowing they are out of town, then take credit for making the offer. It makes you feel good, but you didn't have to throw two more steaks on the grill. Here’s what my husband really wanted: Follow-through. He wanted the steak. He wanted those helpers and those prayer sayers to put on their shoes. My husband needed someone to vacuum the car. (Actually, I needed that. I don’t think my husband notices filth in the car.) When I got cancer, my husband was in a predicament. He and I are self-employed entrepreneurs. We lived in a rural community. No family was close and our parents were in their 90s anyway. Every trip to the grocery store involved a long drive. Our daughter, age nine, needed rides to school. The options for eating out, even if we could have afforded the extra expense and calories, were extremely limited. Our drive to chemo was 400 miles roundtrip and required a two-night stay in Silicone Valley where a Motel 6 costs upwards of $350 a night, if you could get one. My husband needed someone to prune his roses. Oh, wait
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